It's the whole FaceBook concern right now. A couple of days ago my sister Connie posted for her Facebook status: "Hmmmm...no-one talks to each other on facebook anymore! It seems like everybody's just always doing their games and quizzes! :("
I am the first to recognize that playing any game, whether it be a fun board game or an electronic game or an Internet game, is simply that - a game. A form of recreation. It needs to be kept in moderation. I personally seem to have a problem with that part of it - moderation.
When, as the new girl on the block, I received my first egg gift from Hatchlings (was that from you, Tonya?), I discovered there were other games out in the cyber world than just Solitaire (which I have avoided because I already know my propensity for addiction to that) and at that time I was dealing with back issues that kept me awake in the middle of the night. Hatchlings became my middle of the night rescuer, and I quickly became one of the top collectors in my community. There was always one more egg I was missing in my collection, one more level to pass, one more Hatchling that needed feeding. And before I knew it, I was addicted big time.
One day when Bill stopped by, he jokingly asked me if they needed to do an 'Intervention' for me. We laughed, but it was a problem. And I knew it. So I started to pull myself away and the intensity began to wain. In the process, I had collected a handful of Hatchling friends - people I allowed to enter my private Facebook world even though I didn't know one thing about them other than that they liked to play, too, and we could find eggs in each others' nests.
Lately, I've noticed most of those avid Hatchling hunters aren't so avid anymore. One by one their collecting dwindled to nothing. I could still gather from their nests, but they weren't gathering from mine and they weren't racking up the scores. After this last round started, most of them haven't even collected one egg. This is serious fall-off here.
Well, a few days ago Stephanie, a friend at work, sent me a gift from Farmville with a request to join that circle. It wasn't the first gift I've received. I usually just click "ignore" and go on with life because that's all I need - one more addictive game. But with my Hatchling friends falling away, I decided I would put Farmville on my profile if she would put Hatchlings on hers. The deal was made.
And a funny thing happened. When I checked to see which of my friends were already playing the game, what should I find but all of those Hatchling friends already out there, already with established farms and big barns and large lots and homes and suddenly I felt like I did the day I found out that my friend was having a birthday party without inviting me. (Which was really stupid - how many times had I "ignored" Farmville requests from those same people?)
Well, off I go on another addictive streak. I can't think of a status to post on Facebook because my mind is only filled with how to make up for lost time on Farmville. I haven't blogged. I haven't worked on my scrapbook. I'm not getting the ceiling sanded in the kitchen. At work I fight the temptation to check out the farm on a regular basis. Sometimes I succeed, but sometimes I don't and then at the end of the day I find myself deducting work time to make up for the personal time I spent.
So, I think there is a place in this world for games. I love playing games with my family, just never get to anymore. Maybe this makes up for it a little, because so many are already there as well. But it just isn't the same as having the soft corners of dice bump against the inside of the hand and laughing with loved ones and teasing and visiting along the way. But there is also a need for moderation in all game playing.
Where do you stand on this? What works for you? Do any of you have to fight addictions like I do (see "I Cry Uncle")?
3 comments:
I think we all fight addictions, and unfortunately we are usually accepting of our own addictions and judgemental of other peoples.
I LOVE board games, because I think they make for hours of fun conversation, quality time and laughter. I like to play with big groups, or just with Seth.
I DO NOT like video games or online games though. I think they trap people very often, they trap kids indoors and limit their imagination. I let Alyssa play webkinz (on a limited basis) but I don't own any video games. I hope I never will, but we'll see how that plays out during the teenage years? If I am going to play a game I want to play with someone, and interact. Otherwise a game loses it's value, for me.
However, we all have hobbies and just because something is not my hobby, does not mean it has no value. I get teased for blogging out of control sometimes but I don't care because that is my hobby. One thing I do for me, because I enjoy it. I did find myself checking comments too often in the beginning and checking other people's blogs too often too, but now that I have the blog list, I can maintain my hobby without letting it rule my life.
So I say, do what you like...and just be mindful of how much you are letting it in to your life. A hobby should never take over our real life, but we have ALL been there when we find a new passion...so don't listen to the haters!
I am a recovering game-addict too. I put computer/video games in a different category from other games. I think computers in general have a kind of way of "hooking" us, with the neat things they can do and "virtual worlds" they let us dwell in.
Sometimes I envy those people who can enjoy things "in moderation" that I can't because I would get sucked in and lose myself. Those of us with addictive tendencies just can't "play by the same rules" (so to speak) as those who don't have this propensity.
The Spirit warns us when we start to get "out of control." When an activity or media experience so captivates me that I find myself thinking about it over and over again and have a hard time focusing on what I need to do, that's generally a sign that it's unhealthy. I think it may be a form of OCD.
Thank you for having the courage to put this out there for us to think about and discuss. Dealing with game-, computer-, internet-, and media-addictions will only be a greater problem for our families in the future.
A few quips and quotes that have helped me:
"Passion feeds. Addiction consumes."
"I counsel all of you brethren to avoid every kind of addiction... Some people seem to be born with a weakness... so that only a single experimentation will result in uncontrollable addiction. Some addictions are actually mind-altering and create a craving that overpowers reason and judgment. These addictions destroy the lives not only of those who do not resist them but also their parents, spouses, and children. As the prophet Jeremiah lamented, 'The kings of the earth, and all the inhabitants of the world, would not have believed that the adversary and the enemy should have entered into the gates' (Lam. 4:12)." James E. Faust, Ensign, May 2006.
Magnificent Addiction: Discovering Addiction as Gateway to Healing by Philip Kavanaugh.
This book had just enough of a quirky title to get my attention. Dr. Kavanaugh talks about the need to control or be in control as the "master addiction." I think of addiction as an "escape." It's a way to escape from a world or situation we cannot control into one that we can (even if it's a "virtual" or counterfeit one). Those of us prone to depression and anxiety sometimes feel haunted by a vague but relentless cloud of emotional or mental pain or nameless fear (or panic) that we cannot control. It helps me to remember that though I may not be in control, God is, and He has never failed me.
I could go on and on. I've obviously thought about these things a lot. For years and years actually. I've read books, talked to parents, counseled with bishops, taken medication, been to therapy, and continue to avail myself of these blessings as I need them. But let me close by saying that I know that God understands the pains and struggles we face every day. In fact, if we dare to hear it, He actually gave these things to us. He knows are strengths and weaknesses, our genetic propensities, our fears, our hearts. He knows our potential far better than we do, and as we learn from the Book of Jonah, he will not easily let us escape from fulfilling those things we were born to do. "There is great purpose in our struggle in life" (Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, Jan 2010).
Thank you, both, for some very thoughtful responses. I could take your comments and do an entire Sunday lesson! Actually, I will save them in my journal if you don't mind. Where I can refer to them as needed.
There are some board and parlor games that are as addictive as the online games. But I think most of them are just a fun form of recreation and a great way to fill social needs. Julie, have you ever played Ticket to Ride? Love that one!
And Jonathan, thank you for the quotes and sharing your own struggles. It helps me recognize that this is more than just lack of self control on my part. I appreciate the words of encouragement.
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