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| Me in 1967 |
"I’m dreaming. I’m dreaming of being rich and popular and having a wardrobe of the latest clothes and of having an album of the latest songs. I’m dreaming of entertaining friends at a party having the recording stars in person as guests. I’m dumb. This could never happen to me. But it’s fun to dream anyway. I do a lot of it. Like dreaming I got a perfect score on the aptitude test we took today or winning an essay contest I entered."
I wish I could go back in time and talk to the me I was in 1966. How could I ever explain to myself just how rich I already was? How could I tell the Me of 66 just how trivial money is and how important family and faith and freedom and education and love are? How could I ever tell myself how important good health and opportunities of a lifetime ahead of me are, and how important having a family of supportive brothers and sisters and wonderful parents and grandparents who all love each other and love me are?
I read my trivial posts and wonder was I ever really so vain, so self-absorbed, so superficial? The answer is, of course, yes. I was a normal teenage girl, boy crazy and vain, and desperately wishing to be popular, like most other teenage girls. It takes time, and experience, to wake up to what's really important in life. I never got that perfect score on the aptitude test and I never won the essay contest, either.
But I did score perfectly on finding the perfect mate for me. And popularity has nothing to do with being surrounded by family and friends who really care about me and I care about them. And I will take serving others any day over entertaining them. Since those days, I have truly grown to love my Savior and to feel the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the amazing grace of God in my life. So Julie of 1966, hang in there. Life may feel rough some days, and you may feel really poor, but trust me - it's going to turn out just fine. You already have the richest of the richest blessings a girl could ever have!
Now, looking through the eyes from the future, I wonder what my 90-year old self would say to the things I write about today? I am not done with this job of gaining experience and with growing up, am I?
4 comments:
Great picture and thoughts and wow I don't even write that well let alone when i was 14!! Can't decide which child that picture looks like. Didn't realize you had such dark hair!
this post speaks the words of my heart the past several days. How narrow is our view, comparatively. Looking at us now vs. then makes it easy to see how the Lord sees us now vs. OUR version of us now. Thanks for sharing!
Makinzee, you are a terrific writer! I love your posts. And most of my diary is really the same thing over and over again. Maybe that's why this entry struck me. It was a little different.
Thanks, Tonia, for your comments, too. So true!
Your comments from 14 are very well written, and so true for that age. I just finished reading Elder Scott's conference talk on faith and character (Nov. 2010 Ensign) and your insights from today in relationship to when you were 14 show how much you have built your character based on faith. In spite of your desires at that age you stuck with what you believed was right and went forward in faith. Look at how awesome you are now!!
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