I know, it should be weigh-in Wednesday, but this is me ... it's on my mind today, so here I am on Tuesday looking for suggestions.
First off, I remember only too well just about every time one of my little angels did something bad to one of the neighborhood yards or cars or even, on rare occasions, to the little neighbor kids. I have been there. So I hesitate to say anything to my awesome neighbor parents, but I'm having a problem this year I've never had before. I've spoken to the offending party(s) and the matter is just getting worse. Do you think if I go to each of the parents, I will totally alienate them from us? We already have several strikes against us - 1. We're a grandparent generation, they are a young parent generation. 2. We are active Mormons. Most of them are not, and 3. We have the most awesome sidewalk in the neighborhood, it appears. They do not.
So there you have it. Our sidewalk that leads from the main sidewalk to our porch is a curvy enticing slice of perfectly smooth cement that widens the closer it gets to the front porch steps. And then, just off the steps to the left, there happens to be one perfect step down - as in bounce over it with bike tires.
You've seen pictures of the tulips I planted in 2010 that bloomed so beautifully last year. Not so, this year. Oh, they bloomed. For maybe a day or two.
You see, some time between last spring and this, a whole batch of little tikes learned how to ride their little bikes. And as I said, our sidewalk has to rate at the very top of the invitation scale for dare devil guys. The problem is they aren't staying on the sidewalk. On the most part I've lost one flower here and another one there, but tonight I came home to find about half the stretch of tulips ground into the soil from bike tires. Someone was having a hay day while we were at work and the flowers sadly came out the losers.
So, here's my weigh in question. Most of you who read my blog are young mothers (and fathers). You have young children (many who even call me Grandma) who may at one time or another do something naughty in a neighbor's yard. I know it happens. I've been there with my own so so many times. So, from your perspective, what would you recommend I do that would be a win/win situation - where we can keep the little guys as friends but also keep flowers growing instead of weeds? Because I'd rather have the flowers be the losers than the children - but I'm thinking there has to be a way to resolve this and have nobody come out a loser.
Any ideas anyone?
9 comments:
I tell my neighbors to tell me if Little Miss does something she shouldn't do or is mean (I also told them they can discipline her within reason, if I am not around). I would tell them. They probably don't know. Unfortunately you will have to be diplomatic about it. Don't sound like you are blaming them parent or make them feel like they should know what their children are doing all the time. Maybe go over there and say something to the effect of "I have something I need to talk to you about. I know your kids are new bike riders but yesterday my flowers were ridden over by some bikes. I don't know who did it but I just wanted to let you know." You need to do it today, don't hold off.
like I said I bet the parents didn't even realize their kids were doing it. Keep going back to teh parents if it happens.
Eek! If a am being totally honest I have to say that I would not say anything. I am such a wuss and would rather not run the risk of creating contention. However, I think you are well within your rights to say something and I am sure you would be gentle about it. Before I react to something I try to ask myself...How long will this matter? If it will matter for 100 years, perhaps a big reaction is in order. If it will only matter for a moment I TRY to let it go. If it will matter for a little while (like spring and summer) maybe a little reaction? Or maybe wait and if it happens again, react? I don't know, I am terrible at this, so that's all I've got. Ideally, the parents will see it happening and correct it. Pray for that.
I've wondered about taking a plate of brownies to each of the little kids and telling them I love to see them play and would be so proud of them if they would not play on top of the flowers. I'm so like you in being a wuss about this, Julie, but only because I've had it bite me in the past. I know what it's like to be a parent and how much I hoped our neighbors would understand when my children were being - well - children.
I'm just getting ready to plant the summer flowers and have visions of those being trashed within a week. This has been going on since the first day they pulled their bikes out of storage (January?) but it seems to be escalating instead of going away. :(
Guess I'd better do some heavy praying.
Me being a young mom, would be grateful if a parent came to my home to tell me what my children had done. You can approach them kindly about it and bring the brownies to their house if you wanted. If they are on top parents then they will be apologetic... right? One thing I do know is that if you are anything like my dad (since you are siblings! haha!) you need to make sure you are wording your words well, because you don't want to create a mama bear situation. HAHA! I would like to think most moms are understanding. I mean... My kids just took off all the heads of tulips in my yard two days ago. I was upset... but was glad it was my yard! haha!
If all else fails - try replacing tulips with puncture weed? Ha!!
Mom, that was what Brent suggested. Great minds.... Puncture weed or cactus, right?
I appreciate everyone's input on this subject. Emily, you are a rare neighbor. I hope those who live around you appreciate you.
And Nichole, thanks for the words of caution.
I found a teaching moment yesterday when I could talk to the entire pack of bikers, and they all acted like they never even thought about what they were doing to the flowers. I honestly don't think they did. They are, after all, still children, doing child things. We'll see if that helps ... No brownies. But if they stay off it, I may just take them some with a big thank you!
You know, one of the things that I am having a hard time with is letting Little Miss be a child (like playing in the dirt) but making sure she learns the right and wrong of growing up (NO! It is not ok to throw dirt on your friend!!) The line is sometimes hard to see. I do think that like the bikers they didn't know.
I'm glad it all worked out!
Sorry this is days late, but have you thought of very large decorative rocks?? Spaced so that no bikes can get through and large enough they can't pick them up and throw them?? Maybe interspersed with nails. and a promise to call the cops next time it happens (Mike in uniform and cop car could help!), and maybe pictures of the kids doing all this to show their parents?? Ignore most of this, it's fatigue talking, but sometimes you feel like doing those things.
You could always plant rose bushes? Sorry that's mean. I'm with Julie I probably wouldn't say anything although I would personally want to know also. Big rocks would work too or park your car on the side walk. Yikes, I sound super mean!!
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