Day 18: Pie in the Sky?

30 Day Challenge:  Day 18

Plans/dreams/goals you have

Ok, so you see my 60 goals on the right ... and since the entire theme of my blog is basically about becoming a different person, a better person, of popping out of my cocoon and soaring, I'm not sure I need to say anything more.  But, let's get real here.  This is ME.  I will say more.  I always do.

Dreams should be the catalyst to setting goals and plans should be the blueprints to help you achieve them.   All my goals have begun with a dream ... and most of them really are about home:  the dream of a clean home, the dream of a secret garden, the dream of my heavenly home and a desire to return to it with all my family, the dream of a perfect life with a perfect family ... the dream of perfection.

My serious dreams are no different than yours.   But my other dreams ... now that's when it starts to get interesting.  

I seriously always wanted to go to a jungle growing up.  I thought that would be the greatest trip ever -  to see the Amazon and the huge snakes and the big bugs and the pygmies (I know - that isn't the Amazon, but this is my dream, I can do with it what I want, right?)

Now I've expanded that dream.  I want to see the world.  I want to personally stand at the foot of Denali  and Kilimanjaro and Everest.  I want to walk the Great Wall of China and to gather autumn leaves in New England, and climb the Eiffel Tower.  I want to feel the mist of a rain forest in Hawaii, and to see the water falls in South America.  I would love to spend a week, just a week, but a week in Guatemala exploring the digs my cousin Richard works in.  I guess down deep I am an explorer.  Bet you never knew that about me, did you?

Another dream of mine, you are all aware of,  is my perpetual dream to lose weight and keep it off.  I mean really lose weight.  Not just ten or twenty pounds but seriously all the way back to the 90 lb. lighter (from my heaviest)  I should be.  I saw a picture in an ad a couple of months ago of a young girl in a pretty holiday dress, and there was something about that picture - really not sure what it was, but suddenly I was that age again and could feel a dress slipping over my shoulders and fitting me ever so perfectly.  I felt so pretty.  I realized that it's been a long, long time since I felt good putting clothes on.  

I'm holding on to that feeling right now.  That is my goal - to be able to feel that way again.  And for the first time in about 30 years, I really believe I can do this.  Belonging to Weight Watchers has been a huge commitment of time and resources, but I see a goal now that isn't just a dream.  And I'm walking confidently towards that goal in little five pound increments.  The holidays hit at the same time my weight loss went into its 'slow down the metabolism' mode, and I was worried that once again I was at the end of my ability to lose weight.  I did gain back about five pounds.  But I've hung in there and have taken those off again.  And after seriously tracking for a few weeks, I'm back on target to keep losing weight.  I feel like it's a dream come true.  

Since September 2009 I've lost 31 pounds (and since before then, closer to 40 pounds from my heaviest).  20 of those have come off since I started WW last summer.  I can't give enough gratitude to Stephanie for encouraging me to go with her and helping me realize this is something that doesn't just have to be just a dream for me.  Today I am 50 lb overweight.  That's still a lot of weight to be carrying around, but it's also a lot more manageable to look at losing than 90.  

There was a day when I seriously considered gaining ten pounds just so I'd qualify for the stomach surgery.   There was a day when my physician looked me in the eye and said, "Julie, you keep going like this and quite frankly you're not going to be alive to see your grandchildren graduate from high school."   There was a day when I had resigned myself to never being the weight I needed to be.  But that day is past.

This is the day of the new me.  This is my turn to take over the reins and kick butt, literally.  This is my day to see at least this one dream realized!